Just Back From "THERE"

--"Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go."

What A Hectic Couple of Weeks !

We’ve all been there – Exhausting! The mystery is that we have no idea how we got to there, what the forces were to get us through it or why we are “spent”... phewwwwwwwwwwww. Obviously, it has to be the kids. No, not necessarily. [By the way, where in the hell is “there,” and why does it always sound so ominous?]

Although I’ve always been a person who has prided herself on “figuring it out” (whatever "it" may be), I had this hackneyed concept that I could find and/or develop the good in everyone - of being able to shape, to some extent, my environment and to maximize the productive potential and happiness of all of the people in my life. I really thought that with a positive attitude, I could change the world. I Was In Control – I Could Make It Better. And why not, I had the best of intentions. (Which reminds me of an Essie Pearl*: I hope I can get to heaven on good intentions... because sometimes they don’t turn out quite as planned – but I meant well).

I had never considered myself a true card-carrying spiritualist – that is until I started reading Lynn Patner’s columns in SrMeetUp!. One of the perks in my new life is that I get to develop friendships that I would otherwise never have made – what a void there would have been! To think of what I might have missed Lynn has now been adopted as my own favorite personal life coach and, believe me, this arrangement is truly amazing -- it works.

Now, when I get sucked into this whirlwind surrounding my life, I grab on to key words as a reminder to try to understand what I did to get here. Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go.

As Lynn would say, “you have to find your ponies”. Lynn is much better qualified to explain this, but it has brought me great comfort to realize that even though I present this illusion of seeming in control of all of the things and people in my life, I really do not control, nor do I need to control, anything or anybody. This realization is profoundly and gloriously liberating. Remarkable ---I feel as if I had lost 20 lbs. That alone should be incentive enough to put all your worries in a balloon and blow it to the heavens (I paraphrase from Lynn)... and, incidentally; losing 20 lbs. ain’t such a bad by-product either.

I highly recommend using Lynn’s talents, wisdom, kindness and unending patience. Read about her, comment and question her articles and start losing weight. Guaranteed by the end of the summer you will fit into that Speedo.


In Friendship,

Elaine


*NOTE: The oft-used term [compound noun, singular] "Essie Pearl" is used to describe the special wisdom which is often imparted by Ms. Elaine Ingis to other persons in conversation, or in her writings. These are not merely "old saws", folk sayings, aphorisms, platitudes or bromides -- oh, no...not at all -- these are far different and so much more valuable --- Each Essie Pearl is a precious glimpse into the personal philosophy and universe of wisdom acquired by Ms. Ingis through the course of her life's many experiences. The fortunate, blessed and honored recipient of an "Essie Pearl"... the lucky listener, the blessed blogreader...will be transformed...forever changed through the revelations conveyed unto him or her. The term "Minnie Pearl" is not, in any way, related to the term "Essie Pearl".

HANDY HOME MAINTENANCE TIPS - CHILDPROOFING!

SO...YOUR GRANDCHILD’S COMING TO VISIT? GREAT!

IS YOUR HOME CHILDPROOF?

So, your daughter-in-law just called and said she’s (finally!) bringing over your 2 year old grandson for the afternoon. You’re going to enjoy having him in your home, feeding him, playing with him. But what’s your daughter-in-law going to say about those open electrical outlets, or that ungated stairwell to the basement? And of course you don’t want him to get hurt while he’s there. It’s time to childproof!

If it’s been a while since you had young children in your home, you’ll need a refresher course in what to look out for. Back when we had our kids, childproofing was minimal, if it existed at all. Things are very different today and our children will do a thorough inspection to ensure our homes are safe for our grandchildren. Here are the basics:

• Install covers on all electrical outlets.


• Remove all cleaning supplies, medicines and poisonous chemicals from lower cabinets and lock them away. All medications should be in childproof containers.


• Install locks on all cabinets. Remove all breakable knick knacks out of reach. Better yet, put them away in a closet. Also remove all small, swallowable items.


• Install gates at the head of all stairwells and guards on the windows that open. If your furniture has sharp edges or corners, install soft furniture guards. Beware of unsecured furniture such as tall shelves that can be pulled down if not bolted to the wall.


• Make sure the pulls, strings and cords on window treatments and appliances are tied out of reach.


• If your grandchild will be staying with you for an extended period, reset the hot water temperature on your hot water heater to between 120 and 130 degrees farenheit to prevent scalding. Make sure smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors are operable.


• Don’t carry hot liquids or foods around your grandchild. When cooking, keep the pot handles turned in over the stove. Keep your grandchild away from all sources of heat such as stoves, heaters, irons, curling irons and other appliances which might cause burns.


• Carpets and rugs should have a nonskid backing or be nailed in place.


• Keep the doors closed to the bathrooms and to any unchildproofed rooms. Doorknob covers will make it harder for a child to open doors.


• Keep your grandchild away from drowning hazards such as pools and lakes but also pails, toilets and other containers of water. Make sure gates to your pool are locked.


• Any dangerous animals should be locked away from your grandchild.


• This may be obvious but make sure that any gun (if you happen to own one) is stored unloaded and locked away in a closet.


• Keep handy local emergency numbers such as fire, police, ambulance and poison control.

Childproofing supplies are readily available at your local hardware store and at large toy stores,
such as ToysR'Us.

Ok, so now you’ve gone through the list and think you’re done. Think again! The best way to determine if your home is sufficiently childproofed is to get down on the floor and crawl around. No, I’m not kidding. Check things out from a small child’s perspective. You’ll be surprised what you find. There’s a quarter under the couch…a petrified raisin behind the curtain. All potential choking hazards.

Now you can enjoy your visit from your grandchild! (and the smile on your daughter-in-law’s face!).

-- Rubi Fingeret

Editor's Note: Rubi Fingeret is a founder and the CEO of Pro Home Manager, LLC, the creator of Pro Home Manager Personal Edition™, a comprehensive software solution for home maintenance and home inventory organization. Before founding Pro Home Manager, Rubi was a partner in the corporate and securities law practice of Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe, LLP. For handy home maintenance tips and more information, visit Rubi's professional site at www.ProHomeManager.com -- Elaine

Editor's Second Note: As a new, first time grandmother myself, I shared this information with my son-in-law (whose smiling face is even more important than my daughters) and he was so excited that SrMeetUp! was addressing this he even took notes. My soon to be one year old grandson, Bradley, was all over the house and I was exhausted when he went home, missed him but was phewwwww, tired chasing. I now have babyproofed my home and can thoroughly enjoy the roll of a doting grandmother. Rubi - right on! Can't wait to hear other suggestions for both home maintenance and management. --Elaine

WHY WE DON'T LEARN TOO EASILY...AND CONTINUE TO DO DUMB THINGS.

Dear Friends:

We Baby Boomers all consider ourselves adults -- a tad immature, perhaps (part of our irrepressible charm), but rational adults nonetheless.

In theory, we should constantly be learning from our experiences, so as not to repeat the same mistakes time and time again, but we don't truly learn from our experiences if we don't believe that they are valid within our own subjective realities. Simply put, we will resist learning and changing if we remain hopeful that what we have experienced was an aberration, and not a pattern. Many times we "refuse to believe" something that we hear about someone whom we thought that we knew, or about institutions in which we have placed trust, or about fundamental hard-wired, early-learned beliefs which we hold dear because they help us to define ourselves and our world. Most importantly, they help us to define exactly where we fit in the world.

Examples abound of this very Human system of selective learning every time that we: find a new love after a heartbreak; trust someone new after we had sworn never to trust again; are disillusioned afresh after having witnessed the same behavior by someone repeatedly; we perform useless rituals because we fear what might happen to us if we were to stop.

My favorite examples of genuinely irrational behavior usually revolve around money- and love-related objects, where we are so obsessed with "having a miraculous exception occur" that we disregard all that we have experienced in the past and behave downright stupidly. The classic: Sucking up to rich or influencial people from or through whom we hope to gain something very significant...our "big break!" How about these:

May I hold the door for you, Mr. Trump, sir?

May I pick up the tab for lunch (when I don't even have cab fare home), Oprah?

May I help you conceal a large-scale unconstitutional interrogation program from Congress, Mr. Cheney?

Why Paris Hilton! How do you ever think of all of those witty comments?

O.J.! I can't believe that the police haven't continued searching for Nichole's killer!

Dr. Phil? When are you finally going to get around to writing a book on hairstyling? Your diet book nearly saved my life! Oh...by the way...can my family live in your suit for the night? We were just thrown out of our condominium.

Warren Buffett? You are amazing. I don't know how many times I've listened to "Margheritaville." (Oops.)

We also get into the habit of walking on eggshells, where we are so cloying and so accommodating that anyone within hearing distance is liable to retch. Other people watching this type of spectacle are a bit more subtle -- they merely roll their eyes and shake their heads from side to side. We are so afraid to offend them or ask anything from them that we act like Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy.

Following is a recent post for you to read and comment on:

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS We all do it. It never works. Please read my article in The National Networker at http://htxt.it/fuaW and comment. Thanks.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. A car just passed me bearing a bumper sticker which said "Expect Miracles!" Within seconds, a large bird (most likely a seagull) crapped on my windshield. Someone else would have cursed, but I knew it was a sign of great things yet to come.

p.p.s. Have you been following us on Twitter? Well, why not, Bucko? It's free, and occasionally funny. Go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp and be a part of our Twitter Community, too.

p.p.p.s. Am I the only one in this place who is dying for an eggcream?At this hour I'll be lucky to get a Slurpee.

OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS

OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS
- Wagging the "Tale"

It is possible to learn new tricks at any age. When I say new tricks...I'm not referring to "playmates", but rather reinventing yourself to enjoy the life you have been dealt.

My name is Stuart and I am an inactive member of AARP... OMG! I joined, and in the first year and received thousands of unsolicited mailings...not quite what I had in mind. I prefer invited guests over drop ins.

Are you over 50, 60, 70…are you a BOOMER?? Tired of doing the same thing year in and year out... silly question; most people are. Going "outside the box" tends to paralyze any "sane" person and hence...you keep doing what you are doing AND getting what you are getting. It’s time to go “insane.” SrmeetUp! is an excellent way to “rev up" your life.

REJOICE IN YOUR INDIVIDUALISM

I have been climbing up the corporate ladder for over 20 years and enjoyed every minute of it...NOT!!! For the 20 years preceeding that, I was an actor...ran nightclubs...was a boxer...a cook...and an all-around nice guy...and enjoyed every minute of it...YES!!!!

Supporting and raising a family required compromise and sacrifice (happy to do it)...what I didn't realize is that I had also relinquished my dreams, passions and zest for life; the daily grind and financial hardship can do that.

My children are older, my wife and I are wonderful friends but - separated. (alas...). The financial burden continues, but my need for zest, passion and a darned good time has reared its glorious head. I am embarking on a new life that has been dormant in me for decades...and I am THRILLED, EXHILARATED and downright giddy with fear and hope! GAME ON!!!

Hey, BOOMERS…what do you wanna do??? The world truly can be your oyster…steamed…stewed…chowdered…breaded…or just plain on the half shell. It isn’t always the result, but the act of attempting something that will give you a rush…remember it can be the chase…and not the capture. [Remember: Be careful what you wish for…].

DO SOMETHING….take a course…ask out an old flame…sky dive…watch a porn film (be IN a porn film…lol). The very act of trying something no matter how small can lead to bigger steps and open windows or doors you thought had been nailed shut. Repeat- the point is to DO SOMETHING. The mere action of moving in a new direction is creating life -- Your Own Life.

Only you can look inside your own mind and contemplate what is possible…what you have given up…what you have sacrificed for the “good of someone else”…WELL…WHAT ABOUT YOU???!!! You are your own creation. And, frankly…NOTHING is impossible…you simply have to try!

You are as worthy as anyone else…with your own time frame. Age has no place in your dreams…age is a number designated by society to indicate what you are capable of and when. It is completely arbitrary. Your age is how you feel and what you do. Your age is, effectively, your own decision! If you can dream it…you can do it!

Start right now...

I am not saying to shirk your responsibilities…I would NEVER let my family suffer because of my immediate needs…BUT…I count..... and I have a right to be happy right along with them. Happiness expands to fit all worlds.

Old dawgs CAN learn new tricks!!! ;-) This dawg is going to be an actor!!!

-- Stuart
####

I really want to applaud Stuart on his insight, enthusiasm and just plain love of life. Although Stuart makes it sound easy, we all know that it is sometimes difficult to separate our personal passions from our responsibilities. Stuart seems to have done just that. I am sure that I will not be the only one applauding Stuart -- but this time I may very well be applauding from the front seat of the Helen Hayes Theater. This "tale" has just begun wagging. - Elaine

*But wait -- there's more! (try to imagine the voice of Ron Popiel, hawking the now legendary Veg-O-Matic on a TV infomercial). We, the indomitable, unstoppable, intrepid, ever-curious (and extraordinarily nosy) pioneers of SrMeetUp! will be following Stuart as he lives his daring adventure of becoming an actor. STAY TUNED, BOOMERS. OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS.

The tale is just beginning. We'll be dogging Stuart every step of the way.

REMEMBER ZIG ZIGLAR? Take This Quick Survey.

Boomers --- Do you remember the classic teachings of Horatio Alger, Dr, Robert Schuller, Dale Carnegie? How about ZIG ZIGLAR? Now that we've all experienced life in a changing social and business culture, let's revisit the philosophies of these Human behaviorists and success phiosophers. -- Elaine Ingis and Douglas Castle

TNNW SURVEY #89

TomZiglar: Our Philosophy - "You can have everything in life you want, if you will help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar.

Douglas Castle's question: Do you believe this to be true today? If not, say so. If true, then under what conditions? How do you determine which people you should focus your efforts and talents on? Have people changed in terms of their willingness to reciprocate? Is society somehow different? Do we need a different strategy for succeeding in business and friendship. Many of us, myself included, grew up on Zig's teachings.

Are Tom and Zig Ziglar oversimplifying?

How would you re-state Zig Ziglar's Philosophy in these times?

Please submit your views to http://thenationalnetworkersurveys.blogspot.com/ In the subject line of your response (Click on https://ciof.wufoo.com/forms/your-response-to-a-tnnw-survey/ to submit your responses, now) , reference TNNW Survey #89.

Faithfully,

Elaine Ingis
Douglas Castle

P.S. Remember: Click on https://ciof.wufoo.com/forms/your-response-to-a-tnnw-survey/ to submit your responses, and reference TNNW Survey #89 in the "Subject" line of your responses.

P.P.S. Boomers have a richer, deeper, more sophisticated view of life. Our opinions are born of the wisdom that only life's experiences can provide. Let's share what we've learned.