Just Back From "THERE"

--"Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go."

What A Hectic Couple of Weeks !

We’ve all been there – Exhausting! The mystery is that we have no idea how we got to there, what the forces were to get us through it or why we are “spent”... phewwwwwwwwwwww. Obviously, it has to be the kids. No, not necessarily. [By the way, where in the hell is “there,” and why does it always sound so ominous?]

Although I’ve always been a person who has prided herself on “figuring it out” (whatever "it" may be), I had this hackneyed concept that I could find and/or develop the good in everyone - of being able to shape, to some extent, my environment and to maximize the productive potential and happiness of all of the people in my life. I really thought that with a positive attitude, I could change the world. I Was In Control – I Could Make It Better. And why not, I had the best of intentions. (Which reminds me of an Essie Pearl*: I hope I can get to heaven on good intentions... because sometimes they don’t turn out quite as planned – but I meant well).

I had never considered myself a true card-carrying spiritualist – that is until I started reading Lynn Patner’s columns in SrMeetUp!. One of the perks in my new life is that I get to develop friendships that I would otherwise never have made – what a void there would have been! To think of what I might have missed Lynn has now been adopted as my own favorite personal life coach and, believe me, this arrangement is truly amazing -- it works.

Now, when I get sucked into this whirlwind surrounding my life, I grab on to key words as a reminder to try to understand what I did to get here. Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go.

As Lynn would say, “you have to find your ponies”. Lynn is much better qualified to explain this, but it has brought me great comfort to realize that even though I present this illusion of seeming in control of all of the things and people in my life, I really do not control, nor do I need to control, anything or anybody. This realization is profoundly and gloriously liberating. Remarkable ---I feel as if I had lost 20 lbs. That alone should be incentive enough to put all your worries in a balloon and blow it to the heavens (I paraphrase from Lynn)... and, incidentally; losing 20 lbs. ain’t such a bad by-product either.

I highly recommend using Lynn’s talents, wisdom, kindness and unending patience. Read about her, comment and question her articles and start losing weight. Guaranteed by the end of the summer you will fit into that Speedo.


In Friendship,

Elaine


*NOTE: The oft-used term [compound noun, singular] "Essie Pearl" is used to describe the special wisdom which is often imparted by Ms. Elaine Ingis to other persons in conversation, or in her writings. These are not merely "old saws", folk sayings, aphorisms, platitudes or bromides -- oh, no...not at all -- these are far different and so much more valuable --- Each Essie Pearl is a precious glimpse into the personal philosophy and universe of wisdom acquired by Ms. Ingis through the course of her life's many experiences. The fortunate, blessed and honored recipient of an "Essie Pearl"... the lucky listener, the blessed blogreader...will be transformed...forever changed through the revelations conveyed unto him or her. The term "Minnie Pearl" is not, in any way, related to the term "Essie Pearl".

WHY WE DON'T LEARN TOO EASILY...AND CONTINUE TO DO DUMB THINGS.

Dear Friends:

We Baby Boomers all consider ourselves adults -- a tad immature, perhaps (part of our irrepressible charm), but rational adults nonetheless.

In theory, we should constantly be learning from our experiences, so as not to repeat the same mistakes time and time again, but we don't truly learn from our experiences if we don't believe that they are valid within our own subjective realities. Simply put, we will resist learning and changing if we remain hopeful that what we have experienced was an aberration, and not a pattern. Many times we "refuse to believe" something that we hear about someone whom we thought that we knew, or about institutions in which we have placed trust, or about fundamental hard-wired, early-learned beliefs which we hold dear because they help us to define ourselves and our world. Most importantly, they help us to define exactly where we fit in the world.

Examples abound of this very Human system of selective learning every time that we: find a new love after a heartbreak; trust someone new after we had sworn never to trust again; are disillusioned afresh after having witnessed the same behavior by someone repeatedly; we perform useless rituals because we fear what might happen to us if we were to stop.

My favorite examples of genuinely irrational behavior usually revolve around money- and love-related objects, where we are so obsessed with "having a miraculous exception occur" that we disregard all that we have experienced in the past and behave downright stupidly. The classic: Sucking up to rich or influencial people from or through whom we hope to gain something very significant...our "big break!" How about these:

May I hold the door for you, Mr. Trump, sir?

May I pick up the tab for lunch (when I don't even have cab fare home), Oprah?

May I help you conceal a large-scale unconstitutional interrogation program from Congress, Mr. Cheney?

Why Paris Hilton! How do you ever think of all of those witty comments?

O.J.! I can't believe that the police haven't continued searching for Nichole's killer!

Dr. Phil? When are you finally going to get around to writing a book on hairstyling? Your diet book nearly saved my life! Oh...by the way...can my family live in your suit for the night? We were just thrown out of our condominium.

Warren Buffett? You are amazing. I don't know how many times I've listened to "Margheritaville." (Oops.)

We also get into the habit of walking on eggshells, where we are so cloying and so accommodating that anyone within hearing distance is liable to retch. Other people watching this type of spectacle are a bit more subtle -- they merely roll their eyes and shake their heads from side to side. We are so afraid to offend them or ask anything from them that we act like Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy.

Following is a recent post for you to read and comment on:

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS We all do it. It never works. Please read my article in The National Networker at http://htxt.it/fuaW and comment. Thanks.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. A car just passed me bearing a bumper sticker which said "Expect Miracles!" Within seconds, a large bird (most likely a seagull) crapped on my windshield. Someone else would have cursed, but I knew it was a sign of great things yet to come.

p.p.s. Have you been following us on Twitter? Well, why not, Bucko? It's free, and occasionally funny. Go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp and be a part of our Twitter Community, too.

p.p.p.s. Am I the only one in this place who is dying for an eggcream?At this hour I'll be lucky to get a Slurpee.

LYNN PATNER'S COLUMN: To Grumble or Not To Grumble, That is the Question...

To Grumble or Not To Grumble , That is the Question…
By SrMeetUp! Featured Columnist Lynn Patner

All around me I am hearing grumbling. I hear grumbles from my students, from my clients, while I am standing in a grocery store and at dinners with friends. There are the economic grumbles, the physical grumbles and of course the relationship grumbles. I cannot go anywhere anymore without hearing someone grumble. All this grumbling is affecting me, and even at the dog park, the dogs are getting into the grumbling mood. Fights are breaking out right and left.

Now granted, the world situation is less than perfect. The collapse of the economy, the housing debacle and the loss of jobs, et cetera, only brings around more grumbling, nothing else. It goes like this: one starts to grumble, then another adds their grumbles and soon there are many grumbles. Now grumbling would be fine if it solved something or was of good use, but grumbling does nothing. It’s like sitting in a rocking chair and expecting to go somewhere. It doesn’t even make one feel better.

Do you remember the cartoon character in the Charlie Brown series, Pigpen? Wherever he walked little clouds of dust followed. That is exactly what happens with grumbles; they are like little clouds of dust that follow behind you collecting more grumbles as they go forward. The problem is they keep attracting only negativity.

In 1994 I stepped onto a path and began an amazing journey. I learned that our thoughts, either verbalized or not, create our experiences. That new information took a very long time to penetrate my mind. But then I saw what thoughts and beliefs produced, and it opened an entirely different world of reality. The reality is, I am the producer, the director and the star of my own life. This revelation did not make me happy because I could no longer be the victim in my own life drama. I couldn’t blame my parents, nor the environment and worse yet I couldn’t grumble about any of it anymore. If I was not a victim, then I must be the creator. Creator is definitely a better option.

What I have learned about my thoughts and the power of them, my emotions, and my beliefs is they literally create my reality. And it is now being proven by scientific methods no less. Wow! All you doubting Thomas out there read on.

In 2005 Bruce Lipton Ph.D., a cellular biologist, published “The Biology of Belief.” This book was awarded 2006’s Best Science Book of the Year. In the book he presents scientific evidence showing that genes and DNA do not control our biology. Instead, our genes are turned on and off by signals from outside the cells in our bodies, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. The significance of this shift in belief is vast, in that the original view held for a long time was that we were victims of our own biology. The ‘new’ sciences show that we are actually masters of our biology.

An earlier book, “Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Beliefs,” published in 1997 by Dr. Herbert Benson, M.D. tells about a study conducted in 1957 at Cook County Hospital in Chicago. This study found, according to Dr. Benson, that 30 percent of the patients with rheumatoid arthritis benefited from placebos. Their placebo relief lasted at least three months. In 1995 more research was conducted confirming this study. The results were published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, where 40 percent of individuals suffering with rheumatoid arthritis had a 50 percent reduction in both swelling and tenderness in their joints by simply taking a placebo. These effects lasted for six months or more.

There continues to be scientific evidence that states that we are powerful creators in our lives and the world in which we live. So, less grumbling is important as our beliefs about ourselves and the world, regardless if they are true or false, positive or negative affect us on a multitude of levels. So, I say, " just say no to grumbling."

A few tools to assist you any time you are in a grumbling space…

• Listen to uplifting music
• Think positive thoughts
• Walk in nature
• Relax in water
• Read an inspirational book
• Play with a child
• Laugh often
• Go shopping

What is important to remember is that our thoughts are creating our reality all the time. Most of the time we are creating these thoughts with our unconscious mind. As a matter of fact, I just recently heard that we are creating our lives around 95 percent from the unconscious mind. That is important information to notice. So you ask, what is the answer. The answer is: become aware of your thoughts and redirect them when you start to grumble.

Do anything that opens your heart and fills you with joy and you are on the path to bring about a life transformation.

-- Lynn

BRIEF COMMENTARY By ELAINE INGIS:

It is amazing how much we accomplish out of sheer vision and the will to make things happen. Lynn Patner offers both a tremendous opportunity and a challenge to every Boomer -- since we have the ability to transform our state of physiological health by out thoughts about life, why do we waste time dwelling on negative possibilities? There may be more to the Law of Attraction (the force behind those "self-fulfilling prophesies" many of us learned about in Psychology 101) than many of us have ever realized. We are blessed and burdened by the obligation to create our own reality by our thinking processes.

Being aware of this, we owe it to ourselves, each of us, to surround ourselves with positive influences and to avoid energy vampires who seem to thrive on complaining, suffering and misery. Carrying this one step further, we can enrich and improve our lives by becoming vitally involved in a social group or community that has a courageous, problem-solving orientation, instead of by sitting alone and talking to some well-intentioned friend on the telephone who reaffirms and prolongs our misery by fueling our outrage or by encouraging us to retreat from what life has brought us. We each have great personal power; this power is multiplied when we combine forces with other positive people.

At the risk of sounding like a shameless self-promoter, SrMeetUp! was created to bring about a positive, supportive and strengthening community environment for our Members. Positive thoughts are contagious -- why not share them? - E.I.

[Douglas Castle, a Director of SrMeetUp! and the Developer of both the Braintenance and Links 4 Life Blogs contributed to this Commentary]

ELAINE INGIS - HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

Dear Readers:

Ms. Elaine Ingis will stop at nothing in order to promote her own agenda, interests and popularity. I am oftimes shocked (as are many other sensible and fine persons of breeding, cultural refinement and impeccable taste) at her shamelessness. To her, we say, "Act your age!" In response, she sticks out her tongue and loudly utters something unprintable.

In the brief video which follows, Ms. Ingis, who happens to be the Founder and Visionary behind SrMeetUp!, shows us, once again, that she will stop at nothing to be in the spotlight. Such vanity. Such brazenness. Such fun!

I hope that she won't fire me (again).

Watch this video!: [Note -The actual video, wherein Ms. Ingis received the coveted "Mother Of The Year Prize" has been eliminated in the interest of National Security due to the logjam in internet communications produced by excessive viewings, and due to the many requests Ms. Ingis has been receiving from children in excess of 30 years of age who wish to be adopted, and who are already calling her "Mommy."].

Oh Elaine -- how could you?

--An Anonymous Detractor

p.s. Follow us on TWITTER! http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp . If you behave, we'll follow you back!

p.p.s. The photo in the upper right-hand corner of this post was taken while I was in college, studying to become a vampire.

SUSAN BOYLE - AN HONORARY BOOMER

SUSAN BOYLE – AN HONORARY BOOMER
By: Elaine Ingis

Dear Friends:

When was the last time you looked in a mirror and thought “who is this person”? And if you are brave enough to recognize yourself 40 years older with a few (I am being kind) grey hairs and a physique that is specific to a life well lived, well, then you might make the most profound of statements –“How the f--k (censored for those under the age of 60 that just had to take a peak at our site) did I get here?” or another profundity “This was not a part of the plan!”

NO! Being 60+, during one of the most difficult economic times in our lives, being downsized, overruled, underestimated and simply overlooked is just not the way it should be – not the way it was planned to be. After all we are the Woodstock Generation - we make the rules, our experience should be invaluable.

I don’t mean to sound like spoiled grapes (never could figure out how spoiled grapes sound) but this isn’t fair. We haven’t lost our sense of self; we know exactly who we are. If it is true that we learn from our mistakes than I personally think that I finally got it – many times over.

“I had a dream… I had a life so different from the life I’m living” – Those words were sung by the now legendary Susan Boyle. One of the most unlikely people to perform on the British version of American Idol. Susan’s appearance is a bit off, her age is way off, her fashion sense is not a concern for Susan because she obviously doesn’t care – she simply has a gift. This gift does not come in society’s preconceived package. In fact when she gets ready to perform, you have to hold back the giggles but when she opens her mouth and these angelic lyrics come from her, you feel humble, ashamed at your cynicism; you feel kinder, more hopeful and buoyant about yourself and the world – she truly is amazing. When she is critiqued by the judges, one being Simon Cowell, the compliments bring tears of humility to her eyes... Since I’ve never met Susan, I can only imagine that, with this great disparity between appearance and the entertainment world she hopes to engage, her life has not been easy. The courage it took for her to stand up and be heard –still amazes me. So Boomers take note, Susan, at the age of 48, isn’t even a Boomer, never had the experiences we share, the sense of community we enjoy, an entire generation named for us, but Susan is a boomer in the best sense. With her courage, strength of conviction, positive self awareness, I vote we nominate Susan Boyle as our talisman. –You must watch her performance on YouTube.

So the moral, there always is a moral, is don’t let superficial appearances or other people’s perception of who we are and what we should be doing make a bit of difference – We don’t give a hoot – why should we? Subconsciously “they” all want to be us. To all of the non-boomers out there – eat your hearts out.

Yours,

Elaine

NETWORKING IN ACTION - ELAINE INGIS

Elaine Ingis is an important contributor to THE NATIONAL NETWORKER (TNNW). Her regular Featured Monthly Column is titled: THE BOOM IN BOOMER NETWORKING.


NETWORKING IN ACTION
-Elaine Ingis

It’s driving me crazy but all I can think of is Susan Boyle and that song, “I had a dream . . . .” It amazes me when I think of how many people she must have spoken to, how many turns she must have taken, how many detours she must have been redirected towards to finally achieve the unachievable – She was a contestant on the British version of American Idol. It boils down to the most basic – Susan wanted something so badly, she networked, networked, networked regardless of the obvious working against her. We’ve probably all seen the video so it’s not important what the obstacles were. What is so flabbergasting is that this seemingly naïve, unsophisticated, shy woman, was so brilliant at networking and selling herself to whoever listened - she succeeded!

Networking is a natural action. We do it everyday – we talk to people, collect advice from people, we remember people and we file away the information until one day, it comes to us in an epiphany that you actually have an arsenal – a small army – working in your corner.

I too had a dream. No, not the song, but an actual dream. I wanted to build a much needed baby boomer community. I visualized, I planned, and yes, I even sweet-talked if I thought I could get someone’s attention. I was so proud of my executive summary which I passed out to whoever would allow me to buy them a Starbucks. Everyone was very kind and supportive (why not, I was feeding them) and kept throwing out new ideas, some of which I actually incorporated and directed me to other people to talk to. I wrote another executive summary – talked to more people, incorporated more new ideas, wrote another summary, talked to yet other people and so on and so on until I had something that made my initial vision just a blur of what it is today. Now What?

I now understood what I didn’t understand, I was confident; I knew what I didn’t know which was enormous but I was meeting people and slowly moving forward. Back to networking – back to the beginning –on to Douglas Castle. I connected with Douglas, on the internet around 3 years ago. Perhaps spoke to him 3 or 4 times during that period but never met mano to mano. But I was in my networking mode, third time going through my contact information and I was on the “Cs”. So, I figured – why not? We connected and I gave him my now infamous executive summary and . . . . . just check out my blog at http://srmeetup.blogspot.com/ to see how it’s all coming together. If this is not a perfect demonstration of networking in motion, what is?

Douglas exemplifies the meaning of networking, of working towards a common goal, of mentoring and trusting (not to mention patience, patience and then a bit more patience) He has connected me with so many new contacts I am humbled and grateful. I think he secretly wants to be SrMeetUp’s mascot.

I’m thrilled that I’m making this happen at the ripe young age of - - - - well, let’s just say I am a member of the 60+ Baby Boomer Community. I still network and am so excited by the enthusiasm and support for my Baby Boomer 60+ Community. SrMeetUp.com will be launched shortly – in the meantime I hope you enjoy our blog as much as we enjoyed putting it together. Check it out and let me know – How Do You Think We’re Doing?
______________________________________________________________________
Byline:

Featured Author Elaine Ingis is the Founder and Chief Executive of SrMeetUp™, a social and business networking membership organization specializing in the growing segment of the population comprised of “Baby Boomers” aged 60 and over. She can be reached by email at esingis@yahoo.com.

Visit her blog-in-process at http://srmeetup.blogspot.com/, and visit her website, which is currently under construction at http://www.srmeetup.com/.

Douglas Castle has no comment, except that they try to tell him he’s too young…

________________________________________________________________________